YouFoodz, why are YouRacist?
YouFoodz CEO and fiance in hot waters for racist slur

YouFoodz, why are YouRacist?

On today’s episode, we discuss:

  • Meal delivery service YouFoodz is in hot waters after its CEO Lance Giles and Jordana Stott can be heard in an Instagram video making racist slurs towards Asian people.
  • The company has apologised for the comments but one of its major stockists, Woolworths has launched an internal investigation into the incident. The Asian community is currently getting together to boycott the company.
  • Taiwanese singer Jam Hsiao and his celebrity friends have swiftly deleted photos of the singer blackfacing Will Smith for Halloween but what does this tell us about China’s relationship with racist remarks?
  • Actress Emma Watson has told British Vogue that she’s not single, but ‘self-partnered’ and it has the internet talking about the pressure of having it all by 30.
  • RECOMMENDATIONS: Our guest this week, Melissa Hua recommends you check out the new Netflix documentary about plant-based diets, Game Changer.
  • Phil recommends checking out the new season of Queer Eye in Japan because it’s just so wholesome and heart-warming.
  • If you’re feeling a bit crafty, Tom recommends trying some DIY miniature sets. Phil says it’s advanced origami and to avoid if you suck at hands-on stuff.

The full interview and show is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts. Subscribe to us to stay updated when we drop a new episode!


****PLEASE NOTE that this was automatically transcribed and it may not be accurate. Please refer to the actual audio file for any quotation or referencing*****

[00:00:09] Hello. Hello, hello and welcome to the LEMON Show, the show what millennial’s outspoken about. My name is Tom Tan. And I’m Phil Cooch. And today we have a very special guest, my best friend from university, actually, Mel juat.

[00:00:23] And coming up today on the show, a Taiwanese singer has quickly removed photos of him black facing in a Will Smith costume. And the Chinese media is calling it innovative. And how do you deal with the pressure of settling down before you? 10:30. Emma Watson says just be yourself like self pottered. But first, how are you, weeks?

[00:00:41] Oh, I had a very interesting week. So last cycle’s Halloween, so I went to a Halloween party. And as always, I didn’t prepare anything. So what I learned was to never dress up as I was while because it’s this outfit. What happened? So I bought it because it’s super cheap, like zippers, Alfie. I could buy the custom shop, a border. And then the whole night was just coming up to me saying, oh, yeah, well, he found you got a bit of originals, bit bored of the joke. But yeah, I did go to a club afterwards and a lot of people come out to me asking take photos, which is when they found you and me. And then yeah. Then I did once a little bit of a hiccup with the dance at the club as well. So I went to we literally got to the club and went to line up. And then as soon as I got into the line, the bouncers dead. Did it mean I like you get out of gas. Lot really struggled with the books when he was you know I was just joking.

[00:01:38] Right. And I was just standing there. I’m like, oh, no, you can’t find me just making like a joke.

[00:01:42] Right? And then, yeah, put him by the neck. He’s like, do you get a line? And I’m like, why? What’s wrong? And then he was like, did you just vomited, like in the hole just, um, way back in line. And then with the time that it wasn’t me, it was just that very popular Halloween outfit. Yeah, he apologized. I got back in. Oh, yeah. How’s your week?

[00:02:00] Oh, my week was just you.

[00:02:04] Sydney, I am visiting you just recently say Monday to Thursday was very normal. And what do you do as a daytime drama? What do I do? I look at teeth. I spent 12 hours a day looking at teeth. And here you watching a Hong Kong side hustle.

[00:02:21] Well, a lot of people don’t know that. Me and Melissa with investment since you need us. We met each other in, you know, during our lectures. And then suddenly we became very close and now we can’t get rid of each other ever.

[00:02:32] All you have to do is, is Texas for that all day. And you guys have this thing on your group chat like a large group chat, but like it’s a chat between you guys. But the title is, what, $40?

[00:02:42] Explain that. What is what is it?

[00:02:44] Well, as I love you, you do know about me. I like to make a lot of bets. And I’m Melissa just gives in. So $500 is actually a bet between me and Melissa, because I made a bet with her that she will end up marrying a guy. And if she does, she owes me $500, but she’s gonna get married eventually. This scene on the bed, it’s a particular person who I’m marrying source with V.

[00:03:08] Oh, I think I’ve lost that bet. I really think she’s lost. That ship sailed.

[00:03:13] Is looking. Is it Thomas? Is he always makes bets that he knows he can win? Yeah. He doesn’t make a bet that he’s going to.

[00:03:19] So he was confident about this.

[00:03:22] Oh well you got your big Tom is you got can tell about my voice. I’m quite congested because, you know, I think I got sick by thing. I got sick from Phil as we have got so much to drink, so much podcasting and a bit of a tickle in my throat. And here I am coughing out really ugly. Me too. Mr. Bisek, to say and we’re in an insulated non air weighted room. So I think Melissa’s kind of screwed. Yeah. Allow no patients to me next week. That’s fine. She took Meshell Méndez how he soon lost. Yes. A lot of you guys. I know that we actually had her running the show, Méndez. So the building that was best to go to, which is the Buna where now the commons, which I when we drove very close to, we actually saw a guy who looks very similar to one showman. Oh my gosh. Show that is your méndez. And then we were a bit confused time because we were driving pretty. I thought you were joking. You didn’t hear anything. But it does look like your average normal guy from Brunswick.

[00:04:12] And we did a whole block around the Collingwood and we like like faught like Fast and Furious, like trying to get me because he’s in town full, like he was in Telford’s concert. Right. So we drove back around and then we got close to him again. Tumblrs recalling Instagram stories to get it like proof. Right. Got up to that. And then what you do, you deleted.

[00:04:32] I deleted the video because I was in shock when we drove past. He kind of glanced at me and was, oh, my gosh, I got caught. Thankfully, deleted the video. I didn’t know I did that. But then we stopped somewhere, which is really close by. And then I jumped out of the car and I’ve pretty much sprinted where shore meant there was. And then I went up to him and I’m just. Pincham Was it just what happened? I just now. And what it sounds like excuse me, Iesha Méndez. And he looked to me. He got up and he walked away. How do you know it was actually him, though? Because it sure is. But it wasn’t those two two other guys with him, right? There was actually two other guys with some bouncers. Just one, really. Really like big black guy. He walked out of the gym and I was like to him essential méndez. I think show man, he’s like, Nah, brah. I don’t know. OK. And then he walked to where show Amanda what? And that’s sort of having conversation. That’s when I click. I shit. That’s he wanted. He walked away after he took off. I didn’t happen to show it. I didn’t get close to him because I know that I want to make sure like my space was like two meters away from him. I want to make sure that I wasn’t in his personal space. So I pretty much just went close to him, but not to Clanton. That’s why I said excusing Aisha Mendez.

[00:05:33] And that’s when he got up and he left. And I was a little bit bummed. That’s sad. And he kind of had PTSD from show me. I said he didn’t want us to show Amanda something in the car. Nothing to show Mendez. And I think that pissed me off even more with that. That’s when we got into the car and I said shots from Mendis on Twitter. We saw him take a photo with another guy. Oh, he just wanted some privacy. Like I said, he’s put his only opportunity to, like, sit down and just people watch. I guess so. And I just wanted a bit of human interaction. But I guess we can’t all win. Our economy may be. So there’s actually a video that emerged recently that’s actually going bottom right now, and it is to do with a meal delivery company called You Foods. And it’s quite big in Australia. And the founders of you foods and he’s for you and say it’s actually quite mocking Asian people making like weird sounds like.

[00:06:36] Was it shushing she’s using origami.

[00:06:40] So in this video first obtained by the Courier Mail. A woman can be heard in person and, you know, Asian. Kind of like mocking our accents. And she zooms in to people, kind of swimming with the answers nearby by swinging, trying to, like mock, you know, our language, our dialect. And then another video also at a restaurant mocking people watching because of origami. And these were done by Giordano Stott’s and the Fish and said if he’s found Nassios land, Skiles Gothe has actually apologized when incidents while Woolworths right now is actually looking into the stock of the products and it’s actually launching an internal investigation.

[00:07:13] Well, I first of all, I’ve been using you foods for a long time. I haven’t used them recently, but I’ve used to use a religiously back in the past and back me before they became mainstream. Yeah. Good. Can I just.

[00:07:26] Good. I mean, like they make eyes on it.

[00:07:29] So when I first heard about this, I think initially when I heard about it, I was just like, oh, OK. Like, all right. But then the more we talked about it, the more I realized like, wait, these guys are like profiting off Asian food, Asian culture, like a lot of their meals are actually Asian. Yeah, let’s buy it. Yeah. Like have of like stay for a stir fry them one. Noodles off the ledge are really good. They’re pretty good. Full meal prepping. Yeah. But the thing is like these guys are like a 200 to fifty million dollar company and they profit off Asian culture and for this sea or to come out and mock Asian people as it just made me spheeris.

[00:08:06] Tom your first as well when this first video blew up, to be honest I just didn’t realize why when a lot of western media picking it up, because when I search for only three major news outlets like the Quarry Male, Channel 7 and Channel Nine, I only picked it up and this wasn’t bigger as it should be. That’s when I posted on my Instagram because I was fierce about not had you feuds. And that’s when a lot of my Asian friends had realized, oh my gosh, what is this company actually doing? This is that you’re really bad. And usually when I’m in the situation, yeah, if people are mocking us, if it’s usually time, I just kind of let it go. I’ll ask around there about this. I don’t know why. This time I got quite angry.

[00:08:40] I realized not a lot of people were covering a lot of abuser misery. And you know what’s what? You know why? It’s because Asian people always brush under the rug. Yes. In the level of importance. We’re not we’re not at the top there. We’re at the very bottom. So whenever anything happens to Asian people with crimes against Asians who especially us, like severely underreported. Really? Yeah. It’s actually a fact.

[00:09:01] So it’s actually really sad that these things happen and no one talks about it. But yeah. Mel, what do you what are your opinions on that? I guess you weren’t offended about it.

[00:09:12] Well, Phil, they showed me the video right before they got back in Africa. And no, initially I wasn’t extremely shocked or didn’t feel, I guess, offended. Not that I support what happened, but I think this isn’t the first time I’ve heard something like this, the first time anyone’s mocked another culture or even another race or another gender or another just anything.

[00:09:40] Right. So and a lot of us have in fact, all of us, I’m pretty sure, have been guilty of doing something like this on some sort of scale. But do you think it’s hitting you guys harder because he is in a position of power?

[00:09:55] Yes, for sure. His his the C of a 250 million dollar company.

[00:10:00] He probably employs a lot of Asian people in his company, is a big company, small when there wasn’t a lot of articles online that I read that the people that he employed, who’s actually paying them short, short, changing them as well. I think so. He also look to money from like supply to me. I think it hits a lot more closer to home because I think the if you if this happened a couple of years ago, I would actually be like, I shrug it off, be like now I don’t really. That was really bothered too much cash machine. But I think the older I get, the more understanding I have to. What’s cultural awareness? I think it’s an identity thing. We’re becoming more aware with our identity because our parents. Right. They copped a lot of shit from people who lived in Western countries. Like for them to go through what they even when we talked to Samantha, Jade heads adds Anglo Indian. He went through so much shit. Our parents went through so much shit. And when we were younger, we didn’t understand it because we grew up in a western country. We to always be timid. Oh, yes, yes. Yes. You okay? Yes. Yes. You can do whatever. Say whatever your. I don’t really care. Call me names. But I think the older that we get and and the more that we realize that people in positions of power. Exactly what you said. Because he’s making millions and millions of dollars off our culture off, you know, just us buying the food was supporting the business and then to go and say these things about their lawyer customers. It just hits close to home to me. Yeah.

[00:11:16] It’s just like, you know, like, was he mocking his customers because. A lot of people I know who are Asian by you foods I recommend you’ve had so many times in so many different people. And now I feel like I can’t recommend anymore because, like, he’s mocking me, like he’s mocking my people. You know, like I’m more about the cancer culture. They’re just like, I don’t wanna spend my money with this company if they’re gonna be mocking my people and meld with things like I think the reason why you’re not as offended is because growing up, we all can agree. Like we we experience casual racism all the time.

[00:11:50] People yelling dim at laughs and like King Kong and stuff like that.

[00:11:54] We’ve experienced that a lot growing up, you know, so maybe we’re just desensitized to it because initially when I first heard about it, I wasn’t offended. But the more I thought about it, I’m like, holdem, why am I not offended? And I was like, Oh, it’s because I’m so desensitized to it. And I should be outraged about this because we you know, we took that black Twitter before their outrage. They get outrage about things when things happen to them. Absolutely. And we need to do the same, because if we don’t step up for ourselves like we’re not going to, where do we draw that line? Yeah, we’re not gonna see the changes that we want to we what we don’t want our kids to grow up and experience racism. So if we don’t do anything, then. Yeah.

[00:12:31] Yeah. But do you think racism will ever disappear?

[00:12:36] I think people can be definitely more aware of it and then be more conscious about what they say and what they do.

[00:12:41] Do you think he said these? Oh, sorry. She said it was. She said this ad of ignorance.

[00:12:50] Sure. She is very ignorant. And the thing is, she pully weren’t like she wasn’t a witch. I wasn’t aware that it’s racist. Like it’s. It’s very derogatory to, like, mock someone’s language and mock someone’s culture. Absolutely.

[00:13:04] I reckon, though, a lot of people are saying that she should be a fault more than her fee on say, but racism is taught, you know, and racism can be enabled. And I reckon in this situation, let’s say hypothetically that in the future, say, is cropping up so much because her girlfriend said it, she take them. She might not own any stocks in the business. But yet the business is taken down for if you’re dating some for that long and you know them on such a personal level and she’s publicly posting stuff like this.

[00:13:29] Imagine the stuff that she goes on in their private life that there could be so much more that is said, so much more done, which we should we should definitely clear up like she doesn’t work for the company that she was on who posted the videos and pictures. But he was also a man was also heard in the background, which people are stimulas him. Yeah. And he was making the same same comments like fishing. What is she going to mean?

[00:13:51] I don’t know. I think their attempt at Mandarin.

[00:13:55] But yeah, I definitely think, you know, as Asian people, we need to be I think Asian people don’t get offended by racism any more.

[00:14:04] Just sort of like growing up and dealing with bullying, for example. I was always taught like I mean, kids are taught now to stand up for themselves. But I think it was. Don’t you know, give in or don’t give them more power by reacting to the situation. And I think my initial reaction to this was, okay. They’re not educated enough or they’re ignorant about the situation and they aren’t culturally aware enough to understand that this or what they’re saying is heads. Yeah. And beyond the entertainment that they had within 10 seconds that they were having a laugh about. So I think we just I agree we shouldn’t support it, but I don’t think I need to invest the energy in being upset about it.

[00:14:49] A unit gets new born new foods. And what you’ve I’ve been cooking more, but I definitely I think as of today, I don’t support. I don’t think I would feel comfortable recommending anymore. I’m not going to cancel them or anything. I just I don’t feel comfortable recommending something that another under that, you know, they are making these comments.

[00:15:21] So the next segment we’re going to talk. Turn the topic back towards Asian people, because I think as Asian people, Asian people also races to realize that Asian people are racist.

[00:15:33] But anyway, so over the weekend, as we mentioned earlier, it was Halloween. So a lot of celebrities and stuff will gain the spirit of Halloween. But yes, so there’s a Taiwanese singer named Puts. His name was James Jams Yo Jam.

[00:15:44] So who is a Taiwanese singer? Bennewitz. Over the weekend, he dressed up as Will Smith. And as a result, he had the F-word. And he was it was an effort. An Afro. Yeah, an afro. And then he also had black face paint on it, which is problematic, of course.

[00:16:00] So he passes these pictures on Instagram and a lot of other celebrities posting clean J. Chow, who is like a mega pop star, an Asian king of Asian oil. He is the king of Pop. Yeah, he poses the same far as a lot of his fans of photos, but then they quickly deleted the photos a few hours afterwards because probably so and told them that was offensive. All this Libres deleted the photos and then. Yeah. And no one’s no one’s talked about the blackface problem and the Chinese media has said that it was innovative.

[00:16:28] Funny. I don’t know how that was innovative. But anyway, so it’s been done before.

[00:16:33] It’s been done before. But China has always had a history with blackface. I don’t know if you guys heard it last year. They had a TV show for some festival. It was a really big TV reality TV show where they got one of the actresses to blackface and pretend to be an African woman. Really? Yeah. And then the Chinese media saw Martin the issue with that. But obviously, the Western media picked up on it and said, that’s not right. But they didn’t apologize for it. And then there’s just like, yeah, there’s nothing wrong with them.

[00:17:00] Well, I hate the blackface thing in Hollywood. Is such an issue because of the history there? Yeah, right. But. Is there the same history in China?

[00:17:13] There isn’t. This is the whole thing. The reason why people get offended, but blackface thing is because of the history, right? Like you said, the history and the history is back in the earlier days, black people weren’t allowed to be on TV or movies, so they used to get white actors to play. Black people, Asian people, other races and apparent blackface. And so when they painted these black faces on the playing portray themselves as African-American. Right. And they would mock them and just play the most outrageous stereotypical things that could do. They would be like paint that like make that is bigger and stuff like that. Lips, big eye. Yeah. And just like pretty much as mock black people and Asian people. And so this is whenever song paints a face black like black. Right. Is just a reminder of that time of what happened. And I’m sure there’s other reasons why it’s offensive. But.

[00:18:06] And even when it comes to not even just painting a face, I think even Katy Perry had a whole shoe line. Anything that resembles black facing, she had to take down part of the shoes because it looks like what it was a sense. It’s a sensitive topic. Exactly. And in China, I think this is tough because I think comes down to ignorance and bad and understand the history behind it. And they probably thought, who jamz? Yeah, probably thought I’m not defending him. But while what probably what’s going through his mind was that he saw WILESMITH as his character. He even tagged Will Smith Way Tax with Smith. He he saw it as a character. I’m not sure it was his outfit because he was wearing like an orange kind of vest. Jacket, right? Yep. Was he playing a Will Smith target or was he dressing up as a Will Smith as a WILESMITH character? Right. Yeah. So maybe that said that I don’t really know how to draw the fine line between the history of black facing and also impersonating as somebody from its hit television show. Do you think?

[00:19:03] Because when I was researching his article. Right, there wasn’t actually that many articles reporting about it. Yeah. Do you think it’s less offensive when an Asian person does blackface thing? Do you think it’s more like like it’s equally as offensive when a white person does it?

[00:19:17] I think I mean, I think if you look at the if you look at it on a big scale, I think it’s equally as offensive, but I honestly think it hits. It doesn’t hit as close to home when an Asian person does it because it wasn’t.

[00:19:34] The lack of by an Asian person. Yeah, exactly. Even if you look at the N word and the history behind the N word and slavery.

[00:19:43] Slavery. Yeah, all of that.

[00:19:46] Even people who are non-whites, let’s say the Spanish community, a lot of the Asian community within that, you know, the African-American, they use the N-word quite, quite prominently. And it’s only until a white person uses the N-word that. Yeah. And I think it’s more I think because as Asians, as people of colour, we had they haven’t experienced racism. They experience what we call prejudice. And for them to come out and say there is such things, grace, reverse reverse racism. Yes, there is. True. But they didn’t understand the term what happens in that country many years ago.

[00:20:21] You know what? Lost in the last segment. We’ll talking about how we’ve all experienced racism. Right. But I feel like if you’re in China, you’re living in Asia, you should to experience racism because you either might like the majority majority. You probably experience racism. So maybe that’s why they’re not culturally aware. Why? It’s offensive. Yeah, because they never had to deal with racism because they are the majority. Right.

[00:20:43] Absolutely. And if, for example, I think that if a white person goes to that country, I think they can express racism. Oh, yeah, for sure. A white person can definitely smears racism if they went to an Asian and Asian country. I’ll think about this lesson when all the shouting actually can a white person expects racism in the country?

[00:20:57] Yeah, I can. I’ve got a friend I work with a friend who. So I have moved to Sydney for work and I work with a friend who moved from Townsville, Queensland. So she grew up with.

[00:21:10] Majority white people like, I think just lots of people in the Army base really around where she grew up. So she recently moved to Sydney and she was telling me last week actually that she feels like the minority in this city and Sydney and Melbourne are very similar in terms of demographic. So super multicultural people of all different types of races. So to me, it was the same change when I moved up. But for her, it was a big culture shock because she was experiencing all these type of culture and shafe. She feels like she’s the minority righ- in Australia.

[00:21:48] There’s a whole other argument saying why people would never be able to experience racism because they were.

[00:21:54] Yeah, because they always have a privilege in society. You know, they’re always gonna get that pain. That better paying job there, Bob. Most likely going to be more favourable when they apply for jobs.

[00:22:04] I something that they always it’s a sign you’ll think that’s the case when you’re Australian born.

[00:22:11] But a hundred percent you feel there’s been there’s been research done where you know, where people have applied for jobs. Right. And people with ethnic last names, they were less likely get hired yet just based on dismissals.

[00:22:25] So they defintely have a privilege in that society still. And yet as well, that’s a whole other argument, whether or not they will ever experience racism. I think they express a bit maybe like you said, being a minority and being.

[00:22:38] Yeah. And like I think that they experience what I think it comes down to prejudice, experience things, negative things culturally, but out of think it’s full blown racism because their parents and our parents did not go through the same thing.

[00:22:52] Right. Yeah. And like I have white friends who go to China and they’re a celebrity in China.

[00:22:58] Chinese people stop them to take photos and make friends who work here. And Chinese tourists stop to take photos with them because they tall and blonde and.

[00:23:06] Yes, yeah, Australian. Look, you’re right. Even if they move to an Asian country does still have an advantage. Yeah, they do.

[00:23:13] Yeah, you’re right.

[00:23:14] You’re not even on my black friend. She went to China on the. She went to Japan, actually. Sorry. And people were calling her reread, reread, concreting, very weary.

[00:23:26] But I think turning back to Asian people, if you have a darker skin in Asia, even if you’re not black, even if you’re Cambodian and you’ll have black skin, if you went to China, you definitely a disadvantage. It’s like the whole thing in Malaysia, right?

[00:23:45] What are you on? Yeah. Yeah. The more visual, you know, they obey themselves in milk.

[00:23:50] Ah yeah. Yeah. That watsky I assert. Yes.

[00:23:53] And I think when it comes down to this situation in China and black facing, I think it is I don’t think there is a black and white thing. I think it comes down to your intention behind it’s. And whether or not, you know, are you dressing up as a character or you actually doing it to mock somebody else? And I think we need to educate ourselves regardless of what culture we do come from. Because even though it doesn’t hurt ourselves, it might hurt somebody else.

[00:24:24] Coming up next on the show, how do you deal with the pressure of having a partner before each and 30? And we have some exciting recommendations for you this week. But first, here’s a word from today’s sponsor.

[00:24:38] So I am dating. As in as in not one specific person, but I know going on. You’ve got five or six on. No lying. I am dating in the sense that. Right. I’m your date. I’m dating you out there.

[00:24:54] I never believed the whole I’m happy single. Schpiel was like, this is schpiel.

[00:25:01] This is interesting stuff that took me a long time, but I’m very happy. I call it being self partnered.

[00:25:11] So the next segment, guys, is about Emma Watson, who’s done it into view with British Vogue over the weekend. So she’s talked about how she’s twenty nine ish, turning 30. And she’s saying back when she was in her early 20s, she didn’t understand why people talked about the pressure setting down by 30, having a kid and having a husband, stuff like that. But now that she’s 29, she’s turning 30 next year. She’s talking about, well, the pressure is real. I actually feel the pressure of like settling down, having kids stuff. And so she coined this term being supportive because I think by using the word self Pandit’s, she kind of a lead is just stripped. Like the pressure of being single because she’s a single one now and being a single woman in Hollywood and being a single woman in general.

[00:25:54] Definitely. And now I think she’ll be quite well rehearsed in this area. Well, Mel, what I know is that a lot of this is the one top of you. I know it’s because we have to give a bit of a history behind it. You know, Mel’s a she’s turning 25, right? Right. Just in 24. She’s turning 25 next year. Next year. And you know, she did. We living an ageing society. You get a lot of that pressure of. Oh, no, let me tell you.

[00:26:26] But again, a lot of these pressure I am putting on myself, like I’m going to I’m not going to sit here and say lock people up pressuring me to get married and settle down.

[00:26:37] I mean, my mother’s doing that, but I won’t say society. But I think so much of society now is lived through social media.

[00:26:46] You see people posting this, settling down, getting married down.

[00:26:49] And, you know, a lot of girls my age. I know I’m married. I have a new friend giving birth every week like they’re having babies or they’ve just bought their new home or they’re doing stuff like they taking the milestone boxes off. And here I am, very single. I’m living a bad life.

[00:27:11] Just move to Sydney because I felt like it like I’m not hitting these milestones. Right. So constantly I’m, you know, dating or I’m looking you know, I’m trying to save yet trying to live my best life, trying to do well in my career, trying to tick all these boxes because I feel like I’m 24. I’ve got six years left of my 20s. And I need to take all of these books out.

[00:27:39] How much of a party is getting married to you and having kids when it catches up?

[00:27:43] Honestly, if I’m gonna be completely honest, I don’t even want kids. And I love that we’re growing away from the traditional norms now.

[00:27:51] But when I was growing up and my mum’s super traditional, it was still instilled in me that no matter how well I did, I was to be like the my objective in life is to be the best wife.

[00:28:06] Yes, I see that with my sister as well, because this is a few years I’m going to me. Yeah. I really like the object of me. Right. That my parents give me is, you know, become a successful businessman, get a great paying job, stuff like that. And then, yes, settle down and find a wife, which is not gonna happen.

[00:28:21] My sister is a few years ago. To me, her objective in life, according to my parents, is a fine average husband support.

[00:28:29] And I think like it was cool that mom pushed me to be my own person and, you know, to have my own income and career and to be able to fend for myself should anything happen to this future husband of mine. But that’s backup plan. I have to find a husband to look after me. And she still tells me you need, you know, like you need to go find someone so they can look after you because, you know, my job looking after you is done.

[00:28:56] Like a festival.

[00:28:57] I don’t need any looking after it, but it is just. Yeah, this pressure. And I think I’m just in this constant battle between, you know, be single by yourself, just live your life and you know, it’ll happen for you when it happened.

[00:29:14] You know, if it happens, you’re right. But the pressure of sitting down, Elise, for women, you know, the average age for them to get married is actually twenty eight. Yeah. Whereas for a guy it’s like thirty two thirty three. So you can see that clear difference between. Yeah. Yeah. How soon a man typically gets settled down. Some women. So I couldn’t see where the pressure is coming from.

[00:29:34] And I think like of biologically, you know, to reproduce ideally you’re going to have to have you offspring but younger the better you know medically. Yeah. So I think that’s where the pressure comes from. And then when you approach thirty, that’s geriatric in time.

[00:29:50] But if you’re pregnant after that eaten that dame’s geriatric pregnancy. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:29:55] So let’s see what’s kind of like the latest age when you can have kids.

[00:29:58] Well. It depends on the pregnant at like 6:40. But they do when they go through menopause.

[00:30:04] It kind of drops off the city.

[00:30:06] Yeah, that’s why there’s been a sharp increase. And even if you do successfully fall pregnant, all these risks around the pregnancy and around the development of your child or baby. So I think biologically that’s where we get pushed to have babies so young. But I think just as society develops. Is that still a priority I waste?

[00:30:29] Do we still need to reproduce and ISAF? Because, I mean, there are so many kids that we can adopt.

[00:30:37] And if I don’t find a partner, I can do IVF or, you know, there’s so many other options right now. I mean, I get get back to the societal pressures of finding a partner that it’s just ridiculous. And I think a lot of it I put on myself, but I say it on social media that, you know, people are the amount of money that goes like, hello, like sixty thousand dollars to pay for a wedding for a giraffe.

[00:31:00] You only get one CIA that can go towards a home loan.

[00:31:03] A home loan. The best holiday of your life.

[00:31:06] Exactly. And you do want to kind of spend that money on somebody else that you don’t even know. Dockley goes up to them and say hello. Like what? Thanks for coming to my wedding.

[00:31:15] My auntie that. Yeah. And it your aunt, he’s like best friends.

[00:31:18] A cause that you know about them. I agree.

[00:31:22] And for me, I guess it’s like being a male, especially in Asian culture. That is a lot of pressure because you aren’t the only son. I’m also the only grandson that shares my last name. So there’s a lot of that heritage behind man. Martin, my name is well, and I guess seeing my mom as a single mother, seeing my mom as a single mother, she has worked so hard to be what she’s built. And I’m so grateful for it. But I sort of see that sometimes the hardship of being single financial is luck. There’s lot more bad into it than being in a partner as well. So when I jump into a relationship problem, just diagnosing myself again, it’s like I probably I try it as, I guess, financial security that comes along with being a relationship with well, but if my partner gets in through like debt, then I was going help. But like when I look at you, Melissa, like you’re living your best life, you’re probably the opposite of what attritional Asian girl will be doing.

[00:32:19] You know, you flew to Sydney, got a job living your best life. You don’t worry about a mortgage like you don’t worry about having lived just like a romcom. Imagine like, you know, there’s rom coms with the girls, like like, oh, yes or no. I do get my fictional occasional call. Thomas I’m having a meltdown.

[00:32:37] Newman Well, Tom, what what age do you feel like you need to settle down by?

[00:32:42] It depends. I guess it depends on my career. Like if my career has an up gone up and started and I’m happy with my success, I don’t think I’m ready to settle down.

[00:32:51] Just since there’s no deadline for you. For Mel, when do you feel like there’s a need to settle down? But at what age?

[00:32:57] I don’t I again, I think my answer is the same as Thomas, where I didn’t feel like I have. Feig like a number in my head. But in saying that I have, I’m just constantly if I’m gonna be completely honest, like I say, being in a relationship, because I feel like that is the next milestone I need to take off.

[00:33:15] And it’s interesting as a point I was trying to make was as a gay man living in Australia, it’s fine if you so if you sold enough for you to have kids of 40.

[00:33:23] Because when I look at people I know who are thirty, thirty five, thirty eight, whatever, they’re still doing good. Going to like Thailand have gay porn and stuff like that. So like the pressure that you go through compared to Mike’s experiences and tonics and is completely different. Talk comes from a traditional I like I guess like Asian perspective and me as a modern gay man in Australia. There’s the pressure to be safe from us settling down as much as much as your.

[00:33:51] Melissa has like a finite amount of eggs, you know. Well, the thing that you mentioned before, there’s so many options. So you can have IVF and that should be relieving the pressure for you to say, yeah.

[00:34:01] But I think it’s like, you know, you don’t want to be there as much as, you know, you want to be unique and you want to be your own person. Like, it’s just constantly in the back of my head. And I don’t know if that’s because I was raised to think that at the end of the day, I am to be the best housewife. I know it’s fucked. Yeah. I think for me personally, it’s this constant battle between wanting to cape tradition, wanting to please my mother because, you know, no one like everyone wants to play their mum in some way.

[00:34:33] And for her, it’s so important that I do get married, be the best housewife I can be. So it’s in the back of my head like that. That’s next on my list.

[00:34:45] So what do you think you’re gonna do in if you in watch your shoes. He’s going to sue Kuchis live your best life for.

[00:34:51] Yeah, absolutely. Go, go. Emma Watson, she like she is so successful in what she does. She is. Such a role model. But I don’t think there’s anything worse than being in a relationship.

[00:35:03] Just because you feel like you have to be in one rather than wanting to be in one because you’re in love with the person and they’re your life partner.

[00:35:10] Hey, man. Sister snap snaps map.

[00:35:20] He recommends. Shit.

[00:35:27] That’s a recommendation climb, which is one of my favourite segment that we do in the show. So what’s your own recommendation? What are you guys watching or listening to the sweep?

[00:35:36] Well, not what I’m listening or watching, but I actually have this new hobby of mine. I’m actually doing it’s called the White Houses. So a lot of your friends are actually asking you, what can I do with my spare time, Tom? What I would recommend. It costs about 40 to 50 bucks for this puzzle. Set to this puzzle is actually designed, I think, by a Japanese company. You can make houses, you can make pools, you can make cafes like advance origami.

[00:36:00] But with this origami sets, it pretty much gives you all the tools that you do need.

[00:36:07] It takes hours and probably like 30 hours into making this DIY says, I’m making a cafe.

[00:36:12] It could go either way. Original. What did you come up to see?

[00:36:18] And then, you know, they give you so many pieces that you can make a mini piano, like a little mini toolset. And by the end of it, you have like a little small miniature cafe.

[00:36:27] Can I just say, like I’ve done this, Tom, and I’d like the fattest thumbs.

[00:36:32] Whenever I try to glue something together and a glue my thumbs to each and every time when he does this with me, it’s like I have to take the piece away from him and just re fix everything cause he doesn’t.

[00:36:43] I don’t. So it’s taking me 60 hours to do it with Philip. With Philip. Like 30 albums. But if anybody is looking for a hobby, I recommend doing that. It’s really therapeutic. It’s very I don’t know. Like when you’re just making something, you’re sitting there and it being you like coloured by. No. Yes. Oh, my gosh, it is. So what do you recommend, Mo?

[00:37:02] Okay. So this week I watched a new documentary on Netflix called Game Changes. If either of you wants it, I think it sounds familiar. It’s been popular at the moment. It’s a bat. It’s a vegan documentary. But unlike the other vegan documentaries, how they like this is how they kill the cows. And this is how you’re killing the environment if you’re eating meat. This one was about how much you would improve your life. So it was an elite athlete. So Olympians like the health to tell you, like the health benefits of the health benefits of being vegan. So like Lewis Hamilton, the car racer, or Morgan Mitchell, the racer like the runner, they were all there, all plant based athletes who shown on this documentary.

[00:37:45] And it was how they improved their athleticism, athleticism through the through changing their diet and how much it has helped them increase their own performance and how much how better, much better they feel and all the health benefits.

[00:38:02] So it was a positive spin on being vegan rather than how you shouldn’t eat meat because of all the bad ass. Yeah. So I think took a different took a different approach and ended it till you like the other side of the story.

[00:38:15] Like why? How do being vegan do but doing the wrong way can affect your health. Did he tell you that sort of the story or was it just like.

[00:38:22] No, no. It was a pro-Reagan movie making documentary but it was. I think I enjoyed it because I’ve seen those documentaries. I don’t remember the names off the top of my head, but the ones we had, the ones where, you know, they showing you the chickens and the pigs. Yeah. The the really lag. But ones that try to put you off, whereas this one was a positive like you like do these because of think about how much better you can be. And either way I think I’m now more conscious about my meat consumption and how much I want to move towards a more sustainable lifestyle. Yeah, but yeah, it was really good.

[00:38:58] I watched Moja a long time ago. Just like a Korean movie on Netflix. It’s about the giant pig pig. And the pig is like Ochoa’s like at a factory where they get the pigs eat Cuban style.

[00:39:10] It’s like a really special pig. And the pig is like the size of a house. Yeah. And I don’t know, they just made me so sad.

[00:39:17] You like what made me more conscious of them?

[00:39:20] Really? Yeah. I think that I think the video talking is what’s inside your fridge. I think that’s one where they show you all the bars about the chicken and the pig. But after I watch as she went vegan for about two weeks and I got really sick, how much maybe I could do veganism. Correct.

[00:39:34] Watching this one. It was more. These are the food groups that you should try and consume more of.

[00:39:40] Soy is more educational.

[00:39:43] I was kind of saying like, you can eat meat, but maybe consider having more plant based or more.

[00:39:48] So make sure that you’re getting your source of source of protein and you’re on your vitamins and all that from these sorts of food groups rather than go out and just replace it with tofu.

[00:39:59] Yes. Yep. I think that’s really where I went wrong and that’s why I got really sick. Yeah.

[00:40:02] What do you feel? I would recommend I’ll be watching something on Netflix. Eye. They feel this series where they were in Japan. And what I really love about this is that the whole new Queer Eye got the Fab Five, I think because it kressel. Yeah. Yeah, it’s like another just like a different. Yes, so the Fab Five, they only go to places where people aren’t really open to being gay. Yes. Stuff like that. So in the first series in America, they went to like a really conservative states to prove to persuade people that being gay is fine. Yeah. So now they’ve done the same thing. They went to Japan and Japan. People may be surprised, but Japan is a very homophobic, but they’re not very open to sexuality.

[00:40:45] No, they’re just a lot more traditional. Very traditional. So they’ve been going. I’ve only seen a couple episodes. I’ve been loving every single episode. Yeah, but yeah, there is just such a wholesome show where they show like gay people can like. Yeah. Just like be really helpful.

[00:41:01] I was, I was I was watching with I was watching with Phil and I normally don’t watch these type of shows because I’m like whatever. Just to make membership. But the tradition behind it, the way they tackle because there’s another presents out. Quico, she’s a very famous, famous Japanese model. And the way that they embraced her culture and they tied it with renovating and then makeovers. You know, the Anne Hathaway scene, it just made it so authentic and something so special. But I do have an issue with that show, actually. What’s the issue? It’s just the way that they go about. Yes. It’s nice to kind of Oppie appearance, but they’re taking people who, for example, in one of the first episodes was a lady who pretty much removed her whole like donate to her whole house cause she’s a nurse to taking care of people in her neighbourhood for free. And she doesn’t have a bed to stay. So they pretty much, you know, came to her house, was actually very lovely. And they told her that, you know, you need to look a certain way. You need to wear a little bit lippy, tech, cable movie, outer appearance. Something just rubs off about me because she’s giving herself so selfless to people. And these guys are coming in and telling her. Hang on. You need take care of yourself. Yes. Place importance in your appearance. Place importance in how you look like the moment. Much more materialistic. And yes, it’s nice. I can see their intentions behind it, but I just rub rub it in a little bit the wrong way as well.

[00:42:15] I think it’s not about being materialistic. They’re just saying, you know, you can.

[00:42:19] The act of dressing up and like taking care of your parents, you’re putting yourself first and your. No, I think that’s the message they’ll try to give, not be materialistic. You know, by taking time to cut your hair and like taking care of yourself. She’s a lady who only takes care of other people. Right. So for her to take a take her a self by dressing up lastly those I think that was the message behind her. It wasn’t it message and the way that they made her feel.

[00:42:44] Do you think it was delivered the wrong way?

[00:42:46] I think it was delivered. I think you’re seeing too much into it. I don’t think there’s any other way to deliver it. But I feel that’s there are more important more important thing. She can worry. Yeah. Because she’s being selfless. And probably, you know, if she is doing this, you know, give her another house, get people to help her employ other people to do the exact same thing. But don’t tell her to change her mindset and put wearing orange by putting a red lippy on. You know what I mean? Yes. It may make you feel better in that sense. And even Jeremy, get me started that they built like a little bit of a cemetery area for her dead system. And if it’s not, they said to her, you know, when you’re feeling a bit lonely, come out here. You can talk to her about me coming from a very religious background. That is good.

[00:43:25] You can summon something. Well, I just think it’s a lot. It’s. It is. It’s very wholesome.

[00:43:30] It’s a very wholesome show. I do enjoy watching you. Okay. It’s just students, though.

[00:43:35] Thomas takes the joy out of everything. Except I don’t want to ever watch anything with him. That’s okay. Well, I think I still have time for guys, guy. Thanks, Joy. Coming all the way from Sydney just to be on the show. Yeah, no worries.

[00:43:50] So if you guys want to hit up Milice some hit DMC, let me auction off according to how this celebration date. Oh, yeah. 24 year old has a independent. Independent, an amazing income. She is independent. She’s strong. She loves outdoor. She goes hiking, rock climbing. If you guys want to heat up her dreams, what is it? It’s at Mellis. Look why I hate you. And if you guys enjoy this today’s episode, make sure you go back and check our latest interview with Sarah Raff, who talks of her battle with anorexia nervosa as always. Head over to my Instagram followers and make sure you subscribe and leave us a review on a cost per podcast or whatever. You’ll listen to the podcast. We see you back when she’s 8. And Thursday is next week. Bye bye. Bye.

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