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Sarah Rav on overcoming anorexia nervosa as an influencer
Sarah Rav: “I Was Obsessed With Exercise And I Didn't Realise I Had A Problem”

Sarah Rav on overcoming anorexia nervosa as an influencer

Sarah Rav was in her final years of high school when she started posting daily motivational fitness quotes on Instagram.


What started as a hobby quickly turned into a community of hundreds of thousands of people and before people even learnt what the term ‘influencer’ meant and what they did, Sarah Rav quickly skyrocketed to online stardom.


Sarah regularly posted fitness tips and her progress to her 1.5 million followers but they were noticing something different about Sarah over the years and they were concerned.


She brushed off the comments about her weight and thinner look but it wasn’t until when the Dean of her med school pulled her aside and demanded she saw a GP that she decided to take time off for herself.


Sarah’s story is incredible and she’s been really open about her journey with overcoming anorexia nervosa, an eating disorder causing someone to obsess about weight and what they eat. We encourage you to open your hearts and mind to see the hardship when it comes to mental health as her recovery story is incredible.


Follow Sarah Rav: https://www.instagram.com/sarahrav

LEMON Podcast is a show about what millennials are talking about. We cover celebrity pop culture and interview incredible Asian people who might not get the spotlight to share their story in mainstream media.

The full interview and show is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts. 

Part 1


TRANSCRIBED AUDIO

****PLEASE NOTE that this was automatically transcribed and it may not be accurate. Please refer to the actual audio file for any quotation or referencing*****

[00:00:00] So for me, my idea of enough exercise was because I was doing mej. So we started pretty early, so I’d get up at like 2:30 and go for like a two hour run and then like, I would. And again, it all comes down to the perfectionist. It goes like, well, I ran 10Ks yesterday. Let’s run 12 case today sort of thing. And then it got to the point where I was running 17 k’s every day and my feet were bleeding and I couldn’t walk after that. But I still had to do it.

[00:00:42] Hello and welcome to this week’s In Conversation with LEMON, Sarah Rabb was in her final years of high school, which she started posting daily motivational fitness class on Instagram.

[00:00:53] What started as a hobby quickly turned into a community of hundreds of thousands of people. And before she even lower the temp influence it was and what they did. Sarah Ralph quickly skyrocketed to online stardom. Sarah regularly personal fitness tips and her progress with followers. But they were noticing something was a little bit different about Sarah. Over the years and they were concerned, she brush off the comments about how weights and her thinner appearance. But it wasn’t until the dean of her med school put her aside and demanded that she saw a GP, that she decided to take the time off for herself. Sarah story is incredible. And she’s been really open about her journey with overcoming anorexia nervosa, an eating disorder causing someone to obsess about their weight and what they eat. I encourage you to open your hearts and open your mind to see the hardships when it comes to mental health as her recovery story. It’s absolutely amazing. Here’s Sarah.

[00:01:47] So today we have the incredible Sarah Rav. Welcome. Hello. Thanks for having me. How’s your morning been?

[00:01:54] Finn? All right. It’s been a long morning. I mean, like, it’s hard to believe there’s only twelve thirty.

[00:01:58] Oh, my God. Yeah. Daylight savings. That’s true. What have you been doing this morning?

[00:02:03] So as usual, I got up, went to the gym, then I went to Boxier Hospital and was on placement for a bit and was like four hours and then. Now. Yeah. Oh wait. What time did you finish. I finished placement at eleven.

[00:02:17] Hit straight ahead. Yeah. 20 mins of unpacking. Yeah.

[00:02:20] Twenty eight minute walk for those who don’t know.

[00:02:24] What do you do full time. Well I’m technically a full time med student, but then I guess I’m also a full time influenza. So do you like to be influenced by the way? Cause look, I mean there’s been different terminology. I have no idea what to refer to myself, but I think influence is the most widely known.

[00:02:40] So it’s not like I have to explain, is it do you feel like it’s okay to use the self as a influence?

[00:02:45] So 100 percent like at uni when the doctor isn’t like the professionals asked me what to do. I’m just like, oh, I do a bit of work in social media.

[00:02:52] I don’t I go run pages just to see your content creator.

[00:02:58] Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it’s not an artist. Yeah. Yeah. Since every us I guess the same question. So what are you watching or listening to at the moment.

[00:03:09] Okay. So I am watching. Oh I just finished on Netflix, the Mortal Instruments series which I thought would be really it’s like the one with, um, it’s it’s like based on a book and I thought of you this movie series series. I thought it was a movie whose lives I didn’t even know that it was a series, but I loved it.

[00:03:29] And like I finish, I binge watch all like four seasons in a week.

[00:03:34] What is it about? Sorry. So it’s about like service to retain fiction, like a young adult love. It’s like in their Shadowhunters, which I guess, you know, half like, I don’t know, they like Power Haidar like powers. And then they’re like werewolves and vampires and like they don’t like each other because, like, they’re tainted blood. And then there’s this girl and there’s like a three way romance. And like, enough is good. It’s good. Are you listening to anything? I am. I listen to a lot of things. But at the moment, currently tell Swift’s new album.

[00:04:08] Oh, yes. Every guest we’ve had on so far have said so. What’s your favourite song contests?

[00:04:16] All all time favourite song. And just from the new album at daylight. Daylight. Oh, daylight islike false God because girls look like this to moods. Like if I’m in a if I’m in like a love song, like slow mood, then daylight. But Cool Summer is the song of Solomon. It is a fishbowl. Yeah. Yeah, that’s that bridge.

[00:04:36] The next question we ask all of our guests.

[00:04:38] What were you like growing up as a child?

[00:04:41] So kind of the same and kind of different. When I was a child, I was definitely very bossy. Like apparently my first full sentence was. I want that now.

[00:04:51] I like like, sounds like me too young. I believe it.

[00:04:56] But otherwise, I was a lot like I was a lot more playful, I think. I guess because I grew up in my age. Things are different as well. But as a child, I just remember being a lot more carefree and also but also still like quite academically focussed, I think. But I used to get along with my brothers quite well. I was always like the three of us. And then that we go out and we will get quite strict growing up with that kind of like the ones you kind of focus on academics, so my parents are the complete opposite from like a typical Asian parent. Yeah. Not my parents. My mom was always telling me Sarah stopped studying garden like Disneyland. And they didn’t care about like anything in the sense like.

[00:05:51] I mean, obviously, they like they they cared if we were like causing trouble and stuff. But academics wise, they’re like, do whatever you want to do. What makes you happy?

[00:05:57] Sort of things like my mom. She doesn’t. Honestly, she doesn’t know what I study. Yeah. The opposition isn’t. He picks my sense now.

[00:06:06] Me and my peers are really good about that. They sign me up for a little sport. Actually, I can’t remember that because I wanted to do it or they wanted me to do it. But I was always like I’ve done every single sport, like the name of sport. I’ve done it.

[00:06:18] So let’s see, how many brothers do you do? Do you have.

[00:06:20] I’ve got one older and one younger. And they both might like to use either way. Where are your parents from? Sorry. My parents are from Malaysia. Right. Yeah. Were you born there as well? Yeah. I was born there. And then I moved to Melbourne when I was five. Oh, that’s Yong. Yeah. Do you remember anything from the Missouri? Oh, I remember a lot of things from Malaysia, namely drinking a true a bottle of Fanta and then vomiting liquid that was like straw. Like it’s a very vivid memory that I have. You remember the there the been is from Malaysia.

[00:06:51] Yes. And the Mylo. Yeah. This is not the same as a lot more multi-choice equity.

[00:06:58] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. These are different. Really quick.

[00:07:00] Something like this I think. I think they used condensed milk rather than sure. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

[00:07:07] So what’s your favourite milk. Other than injecting drinks. What else do you remember from growing up from Malaysia?

[00:07:13] So when I have lots of good memories and lot of fire, I don’t know like five, it’s like a pretty solid day. I don’t know. I I remember like going to backward. I go. Yeah. And then like not even that but like they had like I don’t know I we called them doggy bones. I don’t know what you guys call them, but it’s like one of the like I just think is like fish and not not fish. It’s like tofu. And they put them in and like you can’t find that here. That’s one of. That was a good thing.

[00:07:42] Of course, I remember being with like my grandma and my granddad. And we’d always go on often walks and stuff. And like, it’s funny because like, we always used to walk around the neighbourhood. But then, like, you know, Malaysia’s not. That’s safe. Yeah. Things have happen. So now they like walk at the park, right.

[00:07:59] Did you live in kale?

[00:08:00] Was a other cities like it was the time guys not like the city. City like. But pretty close. Yeah. Do you get that very often. All yeah. Like once a year. Once every two years. But like luckily most of all I don’t know. That’s lucky enough.

[00:08:17] But most my families have my family over.

[00:08:22] So it’s more just my granddad and my auntie that’s back home. So and they come over pretty often.

[00:08:28] So like there’s not so much like all my bones as the movies it doesn’t need to go back to. Yeah. I’m from Convertino so like. Oh that so. Yeah. Oh.

[00:08:36] Actually declines my genetics. I’m not converting just my Ozan uncles from Cambodia but they all kind of like slowly moved here to the loss on.

[00:08:44] I went back was like eight years now. I used to go, we used to give it like every two like a stick. And you. Yeah. Yeah. But now that over is like no point. Honestly, the only reason I go back is for the food. Yeah. Lining the streets. Yeah. All right. So do you remember any like the move to Australia? Yeah. Was that a shock to you as a child? Yeah.

[00:09:04] Hundred percent like I remember. It was very different. Firstly, I remember walking at a Tullamarine airport and just being hit with the cold like that wasn’t exactly a change from now. And like, it’s the same. It’s like the same sort of airport as well. I remember walking like the same doors. My things have changed.

[00:09:23] Melbourne Airport is known for changing. The show as a whole is really? Yeah.

[00:09:29] What else? I remember like starting school and it just be so different to school in Malaysia because I think I started I did a bit of like primary school in Malaysia because they just bumped me up. So and then I. I went into grade one when I was at when I moved to Australia.

[00:09:48] I just remember like music class and like PE of pastand was a subject and like physically. Yeah, yeah.

[00:09:59] And just like, yeah, nuts. I remember that and stuff. And obviously the people here were different and I was different because I had an accent.

[00:10:06] And then like, did you go to wait in Malaysia where, you know, the international school night? So it was just all it was. Yeah. So when you came to Melbourne, was it like a mixed schools? It means Asians.

[00:10:18] It was, I think.

[00:10:20] I don’t know. It was like pretty even split. There wasn’t a lot of. Asians in the school. But I think as as the years went by, more Asians came. So when I was there, it was quite it was quite white.

[00:10:33] And then like, I went in Asian schools. So, yeah, growing up in high school, I found really hot to like talk to is white isn’t racist. Like, I just feel like culturally so different. Yeah. All the all the white kids and that’s all the kids in my school because they were surrounded by like Asian people because schools like 90 percent Asian. They were much Asian. Yeah. It was easy to talk to them. But then after leaving high school, so hard to communicate with. OK. Yeah. Yeah. Was it a case for you?

[00:11:01] See, I was the opposite. And again, this might be politically incorrect, but I was very white washed or a banana.

[00:11:07] Oh, yeah.

[00:11:09] So a lot of my friends growing up were Caucasian in primary school and in high school. But that things said like it wasn’t any different for me. And sometimes, you know, like you feel comfortable, you feel more comfortable when you meet another Malaysian human Asian, because it’s just like you have that, like, similarity and sometimes like in even back then. Now, less so. But even back then, like it was a bit like I had I feel like I’d have to, like, watch myself around like the Caucasians because it’s like a. I feel like that’s true.

[00:11:41] I feel like. Oh, yeah.

[00:11:46] So. So you’re 21, right? Yeah. So how old were you when Instagram came out?

[00:11:52] I don’t know how old I was, but I remember I started my Instagram account when I was fifteen. Sixteen, fifteen, sixteen six years ago. Nine. Nine, nine.

[00:12:01] Yeah. And what was Instagram. Was Instagram page about. OK.

[00:12:05] So I started off as purely fitness because I was really into like health and fitness at the time. And so my friends like you should sort of like Instagram is a thing now to stop one. And so I did and it was just like motivational quotes, like pictures of like a sports gear and like back in the day and, you know, like very pretty colours, like healthy food and stuff.

[00:12:26] And then that slowly changed, I guess is a lot of work to like build up a community like that.

[00:12:30] So at the start, it was actually quite easy to squeeze. I think that’s the way Instagram was at the time. And given that wasn’t really creating content. It was very easy for me to just find photos on like Google stock images.

[00:12:42] And then I guess because I was consistent with it. So it like obviously I say easy, but there was still a lot of time and effort put into it. And it was because it was a hobby for me.

[00:12:54] And because I put a lot of time and effort in that sort of let me allowed me to grow really quickly. And also because there weren’t that many pages on Instagram at the time. So seeing one that’s dedicated to fitness and is consistent in posting and like engages with their followers gained a lot of traffic was easy. It was easy to gain a lot of traffic with that.

[00:13:16] So yeah, but that being said, I do remember like spending like I was school. Yeah, I was off to school, which is like look like looking up the fitness hashtag and like commenting on like LEMON and people’s hearts just be like, hey, I love your cat.

[00:13:32] And then like a liking, if you might call me back. Such manure. Oh, I get back in the day. That was that was how it went.

[00:13:39] And then how do you when you got your first kind of sponsorship? Haw, haw. This goes way back. I can’t really remember from Goldilocks.

[00:13:49] I wish only I would’ve been in the doughnut train so much was so much longer.

[00:13:55] I can’t go first. One ship was, but I do remember it would have been like way before year twelve because in Utah I was doing them regularly. So maybe like first year in. Oh actually, no, no, no. I think when I was about 10K I got quests nutrition.

[00:14:15] Well really to sponsor I give away 10K would’ve been a little followers because not me. You were on Instagram.

[00:14:21] You true. But that was that was maybe it like six months in. Maybe. Oh man. Yeah. Yeah. Oh it was very quick.

[00:14:26] It’s when I give you like free.

[00:14:28] So they gave. So they said let’s do a giveaway to get on and we’ll we’ll sponsor the prise. We’ll give you like we’ll take care of the prise. And it was just like a couple of boxes of the quest bars.

[00:14:39] So then we didn’t really have influences. So at which point did you change the page to make you more of a personal brand?

[00:14:48] I only really sort of changed. I remember sort of the key defining moment was, um, Darling Cafe, which is a cafe in Tatiara. They asked me to come in and have a meal.

[00:15:00] And this was before the full brunch collabs or this is full brunch was a thing.

[00:15:05] My God, I didn’t even know. I mean, like a new brunch was like breakfast and lunch, but it wasn’t it wasn’t a culture. Yeah. Culture back then. And, um, they invited me to come in and they were like, yeah, just come in for a meal and we will post about it like we’ll cover the meal you post about it. And that was the very first time. Maybe that I posted a photo of myself and said from then on, that’s sort of where it started and. But I only sort of really like because originally my name was Student Feisty. I only sort of changed it to Sarah Raabe and made it like a full on personal account. Lost. Yeah. Halfway through last year when I sort of went through a bit of a tough time and I was like, look, I want to share my story and I want to share my message.

[00:15:49] And in doing so, I think it’s better to.

[00:15:52] Yeah. See, last year you changed your Instagram because you want to tell your story. Yeah. And then I find it so amazing, like you’re so brave to share your story so publicly because you just gotta change your page recently. Yeah. Make it a personal thing. So I read that in another interview that your Dean McDermott. Yeah. You like the dean of the. Yeah. Out of the hospital. Yeah. Yeah. So he Pooja’s side. What did he say to you?

[00:16:16] Well he was like look, there’s been concerns from colleagues, from people at the hospital, from patients themselves and they don’t think that you are sort of you’re coping very well.

[00:16:28] And you look sick. So we’d like to ask you to take some time out and come back to uni when you have like when you have your doctor’s approval, basically. And he didn’t say what he thought I had.

[00:16:45] He didn’t say that. It was just like, you look unwell. Yeah. Do you think he knew what was going on? Probably. I’m quite sure a lot of people knew what was going on. And like now that I think back, it was very obvious. Yeah. Yeah. For those that don’t know. Could you just give us a little bit back on what happened? Yeah. Yep. So basically the diagnosis or I was diagnosed halfway through last year with anorexia nervosa, which is an eating disorder. That being said, or even though I was diagnosed last year, it’s probably been sort of like in the background or probably been affected with it for maybe as long as like ever since starting the Instagram page, because you know, that sort of as soon as you sort of get into that, it’s very hard to separate what’s the correct way to think about health and fitness from an excessive way to think about health and fitness. So although I was diagnosed with it last year when I had lost so much weight that I had a BMI of 10, that’s crazy because I had a normal healthy BMI is twenty five, right?

[00:17:46] Yeah.

[00:17:46] So anything less than 18 and a BMI less than I know this because anything less than 18 is underweight and usually anything less than 14. They admit you to a hospital like you have to be admitted to hospital.

[00:18:01] And so for some reason I had like I had gone all the way down to 10 without anybody. Until they noticed. Until I noticed. So that’s how I got diagnosed. And then from then on, it’s just been a journey of getting over that mindset and also putting on weight physically.

[00:18:20] So what kind of minds and like thoughts go through your head when you’re going through something like that?

[00:18:26] Yeah. So it’s of course, it’s different for every person.

[00:18:31] A lot of people think that eating disorders are because people want to lose weight, like people want to be skinny.

[00:18:39] But for me, it was different. And because I’d always been into health and fitness, I had a very good idea of like the importance of strength and muscle. So in my head, like my goal was never to lose weight. It was to maintain my strength and my muscle. So I was still lifting weights at the gym. But unfortunately, I had sort of I had a lot of stress at the time that sort of made turned me into a very anxious, stressful, controlling person.

[00:19:12] And so that stress sort of manifested itself in me thinking that I had to control every single thing that I did, including how much I hate how much I ran, isn’t like running jogging and how much exercise I did. So essentially, like the only way I can think about. It is my brain was like a tornado or because there was so much stress and like insecurity in my life from things that were happening around me that all I could do was hold. It was like it was like so like, let’s say there’s a tornado, there’s a storm happening. And it was just me holding on as tightly as I could to a telephone pole. And that telephone pole was how much I was eating a day and how much exercise I was doing. And unfortunately for me, how much I was eating was only like 400 calories a day. And how much I was exercising was like three hours a day. And so, of course, that was gonna result in weight loss.

[00:20:09] Is your someone here? You know, you you know what it’s like to eat healthy. Yes, it did. How did you come? How did you get to the point where you’re eating 40 calories? Yeah.

[00:20:19] And so that also gets back to me being a perfectionist. It’s kind of like at the gym where you’re like, oh, I I squatted 60 kilos today. Let’s go to sixty five. The next day for me, it was also like I skipped breakfast yesterday. So why can’t I just skip it? Get Germaine like I have better things to do with my time. I don’t need to. And then from then on, it sort of so sort of just accumulate it like that one week at skip breakfast and then I’d keep skipping breakfast and then one week I’d have less for lunch and then I’d be like, oh, but I did it last week, so why don’t I just keep doing it sort of thing before the teens that’s in your teens pulled you aside.

[00:20:52] It wasn’t anybody else who kind of showed you a little bit of concern.

[00:20:55] So yeah, like I had noticed that, like, I I don’t know if I noticed that I had lost weight.

[00:21:08] Because I guess it it was very shocking to me. But my mom noticed and she did say, Sarah, you look thinner than usual. And I sort of just like brushed it off. Yeah, brush it off. I was like, yeah. I’m like, it’s just mom, she just worry. And then I sort of know now, like, now looking back, I could also I can remember my friends being concerned, but I think they just didn’t want to say anything.

[00:21:31] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:21:33] Probably not show like if you actually go and see some professionally and it’s a very it’s a very sensitive issue like. Unfortunately nowadays I don’t know.

[00:21:42] I mean hopefully it changes soon. But yeah. Like mental health and stuff is a very sensitive topic to approach. You don’t know. Just go up to a friend of mine. Hey, do you have an eating disorder?

[00:21:51] I think we just need to have more open conversations under percent…

[00:21:55] Like, I don’t think it’s like it’s 100 percent not a bad thing to have any like a to have a mental illness in general. And if somebody were to ask me. Like not even if I had it, but just like how how are you coping sort of thing. Then that’s like, yeah.

[00:22:11] And I think like we sort of need to change the stigma around it so that people are okay. People feel confident or like people feel brave enough to say, look, I’m not coping.

[00:22:22] Did you also get a lot of comments from Instagram that people share their concerns prior to getting diagnosed stall?

[00:22:27] Yes. Yeah. There was actually there was a lot. And that’s sort of why I stopped posting photos of myself a bit because people like you look sick. And again at the time, I guess. Yes. So that was another sign. But at the time, I was Sinton. They just hate us. Just brush it off. Yeah. In my heart, because again, in my head, like there was this battle going on. It was just like me tunnel vision on just one thing.

[00:22:47] And then growing up was mental health. Like something you guys talked about in a family or was it something like. Like most Asian films you don’t really talk about. You don’t really.

[00:22:56] Yes. Not so. I guess like the only sort of mental health issue in our family we ever had. Was that my. Grandmother had Alzheimer’s disease. So that’s dementia. It’s a little bit different, but then we also had it. We like we never talk about mental health, but we’d have like my dad would sometimes bring up like a friend of his. But somebody he heard like his friend’s daughter who had some, like, psychosis or had to be put into like. And they’d make fun of they make fun of this. And then the other thing is like. And I remember like my dad saying like, oh, what? Like what’s different? Just get over it. Sort of. Yeah. But surprisingly, when I. So of course, in my head I was like, this is like I was terrified of revealing like my diagnosis to my family. But when they found out, they were just they were 100 percent supportive. Yeah. Like I remember my dad saying like. I’m here for you if you need to like. And I was so, so guilty at the start. I was like, look, mom and dad, I’m just I’m sorry. I’m so sorry about this. And my dad was like, there’s nothing to be sorry about. All you need to focus on is getting better like we are here.

[00:24:07] It’s hard because like when my when my dad had to go see a psychiatrist, like I even know if there’s a term for a psychiatrist in Cambodia. And like, yeah, my family would just prefer it as crazy doctor. That’s how it ends in Asian culture.

[00:24:23] Literally, it’s like they don’t they don’t have specific names, phage, illness, you just crazy.

[00:24:27] Crazy. You just get a grip and say you’re crazy. And there’s like a whole big stigma around it. Yeah.

[00:24:32] Just like especially the Asian culture as well. Anything to do with like, for example, even opening up to parents. I see a lot of my Asian friends who are going through anxiety, depression. The parents LEMON say get the computer. So on your phone. Yeah. Sleep early. Yeah, but it’s so much better. Yeah. Yeah. It’s so hard I guess for them to understand because.

[00:24:52] Yeah, I think look I mean I don’t think that a mental illness is something that just popped up recently. So like I’m sure that they probably have all gone through the same thing, but back then it was just like a suck it up. Yeah. And it probably, you know, although it was never diagnosed or anything, it probably still had detrimental effects on like other people their lives back then. But I think nowadays because we’re picking it up, that’s why it seems like it’s more prevalent.

[00:25:22] Yeah. I sort of think like I’m trying to think because of my own experiences. I wouldn’t say I had an eating disorder, but yeah, I think I was some kind.

[00:25:29] On the spectrum, there’s definitely a lot of this. Like this. Yeah, a hundred percent like this. It’s a spectrum. It’s not just you either have it or you just black people.

[00:25:37] It’s into yours being some of the things that you said that you went through, some of the I kind of related to the need to exercise every single day. Yeah I would because I used to be like 130 shows when I was younger. So I lost a lot of weight drastically and I felt like I had to keep it all and to get it off, to keep doing what you’re doing. And like you said, like, you know, slowly reducing occurs each day. Like I was at one point eating with my other calories was like, yeah, not good. Yeah.

[00:26:02] No. Yeah. Yeah. And again, like it is, there’s a whole spectrum of things. It’s not just like I said, it’s not just because people want to lose weight. Like there’s there’s you know, there’s like a there’s one condition that where you’re addicted to exercise you have to exercise. There’s another one dysmorphia. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:26:20] And there’s another one like where you tie yourself with or you tie value to its food like what’s good food or what’s a bad food. And then you feel guilty if you have an unhealthy food.

[00:26:32] Mike, I want to paint a picture here because I’m like Loche. Like, what kind of things were you going through? Like the need to exercise. I read that you had to you wanted to exercise at 2:00 a.m. in the morning. Yeah. Thwaites Yeah. What was it like?

[00:26:47] Yeah. So for me, my idea of enough exercise was because I was doing mej. So we started pretty early so I’d get up at like two thirty and go for like a two hour run and then like I would. And again, it all comes down to the perfectionistic is like, well, I ran 10Ks yesterday, let’s run 12 case today sort of thing. And then it got to the point where I was running 17 k’s every day and my feet were bleeding and I couldn’t walk after that. But I still had to do it because I do yesterday.

[00:27:21] And I was like, did you think like it was when your feet was boiling? Do you think it was just because you’re running too much or like a sense of achievement?

[00:27:28] So it’s just like like this is from working you? Yeah, I thought it was just like a hundred but issues.

[00:27:34] Yeah.

[00:27:35] And then and then because I still wanted to maintain my strength, I would go to lift weights in the afternoon like an hour and a half. So it was it was extreme and I know like it seems really obviously extreme now when you look back on it. But for me it was like this is what I’ve always done. When you’re not in mindset, you’re not married and you’re like, this is just me. And like, this is my level. And like professional athletes would train for that long. And it’s usually I mean, but obviously they have that nutrition to support them and they have to remain. But for me, it was like, oh, this is what I usually do. Do you think like part of it comes from like Instagram?

[00:28:13] Because you you you’ll use it instead of such a young age motivating hundred amantha. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think that somehow that kind of influence and put that pressure onto you. Yeah.

[00:28:22] And like I wouldn’t blame Instagram 100 percent, but I would say definitely and especially because I was running a health and fitness page. It’s like I’m telling my followers to go and exercise. So obviously I have to be fit as well. And of course. You like there are so many beautiful people on Instagram. It is like you don’t want to just like it. Yeah, it’s hard not to compare yourself. And that’s why I’m trying to do now. And of course, it’s easier said than done. But like. You know, it gets to you, but that being said, it’s not just Instagram like it society as a whole and sure, like you can still compay self your friends and people you see on the street. People say on TV.

[00:29:01] So, yeah, because we know that you also released two e-books as well. Yeah. Was there any content in the e-book that you wish you hadn’t had written?

[00:29:08] No.

[00:29:11] All right. So what? It was just recipes. Yeah. self-assigned like I stick by.

[00:29:15] Very good recipes.

[00:29:17] Second one was called The Beginner’s Guide to Clean Eating. And while I didn’t push extremes and I remember in the book saying like, it’s good to have chain meals, the whole term clean eating is like very emetic. Yeah, because what’s clean and why do you like to me like it’s. Yeah. And the same thing with like having a diet and it’s just like people tie value to it.

[00:29:42] And then when they stray from what they think is clean eating, then they feel bad about themselves.

[00:29:47] They used to beat me all the time whenever something that wasn’t part of my meal plan. Yeah. I would feel so guilty. Yeah. I’ll just continue eating.

[00:29:54] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That’s how binge like binge eating develops. But it’s the same for me. I remember for that whole like leading up to that I would I used to love to get pancakes with my friends at a time like before that like pancake peggable it was just like my had my happy place but I love. But I’d go. And then like it was just like I just remember like some of my happiest childhood memories just at the Bank of l.A. But for that like six months up until my diagnosis, I remember just not gulp not wanting to go even though I was craving pancakes. I knew that the guilt I would feel after would just be terrible, that I wouldn’t be to do with it. So I just wouldn’t go. Even though like I wanted to.

[00:30:40] How did you deal with whenever you went quite off track? How did you just not eat anything yet?

[00:30:46] It was it was like it was just punishment. It’s like, yeah, I’d have to run more tomorrow or you have to skip the next meal and sort of thing. Yeah.

[00:30:53] I’m not sure we have you. How much have you watched about Shillong? I don’t watch Nightline throughout. There was one contestant. Yes. Heleno. Oh yeah. I get filled is quite a little bit about this. But she she went to the Cup finals and I think she started like a fitness thing.

[00:31:07] So this is I think this is just problematic in general with the influences who say the health of most coaches. Yeah, but anyway, so Helena is one of the contestants on the show. Yes.

[00:31:17] After she was eliminated, she announced a new business venture was which was called the Weightloss Trilogy. It was a venture with her sister, who’s a health and wellness coach and herself, yet also health and wellness coach. And then it was her mom as well, who’s a GP. Okay. So initially when it came out, people were like, oh, what’s so good? Does a doctor. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:31:36] It’s gonna be good at all professions. And there’s this. There’s this. Someone’s really. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s a medically based, scientifically based approach.

[00:31:46] She said that was the tone of the new venture. But then when it started to get like posts. Yes, a grand page one of the tips was. Yeah. It’s okay to be hungry. Just drink water.

[00:31:58] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Something like saying how it’s what they said wasn’t bad, but the fact they kind of the way they phrase yet made it. Yeah. It’s more of an unhealthy term. Yeah. And they got so much backlash from. Yes. It is okay to be hungry sometimes. But when you say that publicly in a way that makes people feel it’s okay to be hungry. So I’m going to continue to be. Yeah. Yeah. So you kind of feel and look a certain way. I think that was. Yeah. They got so much backlash. A lot of problems with that as well.

[00:32:23] I remember I used to see ones that was like, you’re not hungry, you’re just thirsty. Drink a glass of water. I was like, oh, like, yay.

[00:32:32] Now, would you say that your relationship with food before and now has just drastically changed?

[00:32:37] Hundred percent. Yeah. So like basically back then it was just what’s good for me. What’s not I can’t have anything that’s not good for me. But now it’s very much just like a look. I mean, what do I feel like? And obviously at the cup, because I do have all that information that I have. I know you can’t just get rid of it. So I do know what is good for me. And so I do like I still eat pretty healthily, but at the same time, like if I want a doughnut. Like I said, I I’m gonna have it because like, what’s like it’s not inherently bad. Like every food all comes down to the same thing. Like carbs, protein and fats do remain. And like, if it makes me happy, it makes me happy. And it’s not like I’m having a turn off every meal. And the same with exercise.

[00:33:26] It’s like, look, if I wake up in the morning and I just feel terrible if I’m sick or I’ve I’ve got a busy day and I can’t make the gym, then it’s one day in like a whole lifetime of days. It’s yeah.

[00:33:38] And I think thinking about the bigger picture really makes a big difference because back then it was like day by day have to do is have to do this was now it’s like actually if you think about how much life you’ve got. Left ahead of you. It’s just one day and like, how much happiness do you gain from that and is that worth it? And most times like happiness and what you feel like doing and triumph.

[00:34:02] Thanks for finishing part one of Sarah R&B’s interview with LEMON podcast. Make sure you check out Part 2 to hear the complete story.

Part 2


TRANSCRIBED AUDIO

****PLEASE NOTE that this was automatically transcribed and it may not be accurate. Please refer to the actual audio file for any quotation or referencing*****

[00:00:00] You’re listening to part two of Sarah R&B’s interview with Live in podcast. Here’s Sarah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And could you kind of walk us through? You know, when you were diagnosed to the point where you wanted to publicly come out and tell your followers, that was a bit of a trying time for yourself as well.

[00:00:17] Yeah. I guess because I knew because like beforehand, like the my followers are expressing concerns. So I sort of at the time I was when I was diagnosed, I was like, ah. It was a big shock. But I was like. OK. And I knew as soon as I was diagnosed, I knew that it was something I had to recover from because if I wanted a career, if I wanted a future, obviously it was something I had to recover from.

[00:00:45] And also, your dean was like, if you want to come back to you met me.

[00:00:49] Exactly. That’s right. That’s sort of what I actually like. Unfortunately, I started recovery for the wrong reason because at the time it was just I need to get back to it. I need to go. I need to finish ACL for the first couple of weeks. I was like, I am only putting on weight because I want to go back to it. But that’s solely my mindset change.

[00:01:05] And I was like, if I want to continue like beyond just this brief period of time because like, you know, you you have to change your minds that you can’t just physically get in the way because then you just going to relapse. If I wanted to have a complete life, long career and future after this episode, then I need to actually change my mindset.

[00:01:27] And so that’s what happened. And I think once I sort of recovered, slowly recovered, then I realized, look. A lot of people are going through this. It’s not just me.

[00:01:38] And I think that a lot of people would be able to relate or a lot of people might feel strength in knowing that they’re not the only ones who are going through what I was going through.

[00:01:51] That’s sort of why I decided to make it public, because I was like. And I say this a lot. I’m like, if I had to go through hell and back just so that one other person doesn’t have to do that is worth it.

[00:02:03] Absolutely. Yeah. I was talking to my cousin as well. She went she was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. So, yeah, I think she started when she was fifteen or sixteen years old before. This adds a bit of research, but I also like to get consent to talk about on the show. So thank you, Vanessa. But she was saying how her struggles was, like you said, mostly mentally. Yes. There was a brief period of moment where she gained a lot of weight. Yeah. And a lot of wins with stomach. And that made her even more conscious. And then, yeah, it was like this. I guess not relapsing, but just kind of like a loopy moment where going back and forth, back and forth.

[00:02:34] So that’s actually a really big thing that people don’t understand once you during recovery, is that because you’ve been in starvation and this is getting a bit medical here.

[00:02:45] Big because your body’s been in starvation for so long. When you start to put on fat again, it goes right to your stomach, know, because that’s where all your important organs are. And so it’s like I don’t know how much fat I’m going to get. So I’m just going to hold and put it hold onto it and put it where it matters most. And so a lot of people recovering from eating disorders have this problem because it all goes to their stomach. And then there they their face still looks as gaunt and their arms are still stick thin in their feet. And you can tell that, you know, they’re still malnourished, but in their heads they, like my stomach is messy. Right. And that can cause a lot of people to want to start losing weight again. But what happens is, as you continue to feed your body and it realizes I’m not in a period of starvation anymore, I’m not going to be. Then it sort of balances out. And that is the exact same thing that happened to me. I remember maybe like a couple of months in I was talking with one of my good friends who has also suffered from an eating disorder a couple of years ago. She’s recovered now. I remember just bawling my eyes at me like I don’t want to do this anymore because it’s just like my pants don’t fit around the waist. But everything else is still. So there’s like, what’s the point? I was like, crying. And then she was like, look, just hang in there because it it will sort itself out. And. So that’s one of the big.

[00:04:08] Is it easier for you to understand what you’re going through because you had a medical background? I think so. Just.

[00:04:13] Yeah, I think I think I think it was easier for me to recover because I knew but I don’t know if that’s from a medical background or just because as I did a lot of research online. And maybe I understood a bit up because I had a medical background. But like they explained things pretty well, like in quite layman’s terms.

[00:04:36] So just in case anyone’s going through it and they were experiencing this like you get like a bump in the stomach. Yeah. So what happens is it naturally just goes away, deflates myself.

[00:04:46] Yeah. Like basically. Well, basically what it happens what happens is that as you gain more weight, these extra weight that you gain goes to your peripheries and so your stomach doesn’t look as abnormally huge as it does when you’ve got smaller. Yeah. They just kind of portion sizes. Yeah. Yeah. And the other thing I found is that when I was gaining weight, I was also gaining muscle. And so that sort of helped in the end. And then what happened is that like my waist actually got a little bit smaller as I was gaining more muscle and I was lifting more. It even deadbolts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like. And the other thing to, I guess, address in this issue is that it’s okay to have a bit of a tummy ache, but it’s more human. Yeah. Like no one’s gonna think any less of you. You’re not any less of a human. You’re not any less with if you got a bit of a tummy.

[00:05:37] What. Yes. What’s the recovery process like. What? How do they get you to eat when you actually don’t want to eat?

[00:05:43] Yeah.

[00:05:43] So I again was a bit different because I wanted to get back into my job as much as I can, but usually.

[00:05:53] So I was admitted to hospital because they want to monitor you for re feeding syndrome, which if people don’t really know, it’s where once you because you’ve been in establishments for so long when if you start feeding yourself an insane amount of calories that your body’s not used to it just like it gets it sort of freaks out and it releases a lot of things that it shouldn’t release. And you can get like you can get heart attacks and stuff like that. So in hospital, they got me to stay in the hospital just so they could monitor me. Yes. And also so they could feed me. So if you are very underweight, that’s what happens is you will have a period as an inpatient once they as they feed you and they help you gain weight just to check for any abnormalities in like your blood count and stuff like that. Halloween Hospital for just a week. But that’s because they were quite sure that I was happy to keep going with it outside as an outpatient. But you can there’s like you can stay in hospital as like a patient patient or you can stay in hospital in the sort of the psychiatric wing different hospitals have like a specific ward just for recovery.

[00:07:17] And then once you’ve gone through that, so you go into an inpatient, then you go to the recovery ward like the psychiatric recovery ward, then you can do outpatient stuff and they have day programs through that or you take any of that out. I was I was going to but then I got it was sort of like they decided that I didn’t need it.

[00:07:40] But I continued saying Assai colleges on the side and my GP regularly. So initially I was seeing my GP every week and she would weigh me and my child put on weight and I would see my psychologist every two weeks. And then over time, the periods lengthen now. Yeah.

[00:07:58] Hmm. Like, what’s the.

[00:08:00] How much weight we actually gaining each week initially. So I started at 30 so I gained a kilo.

[00:08:09] The aim was a kilo a week. Of course it wasn’t always a kilo, sometimes less. Sometimes it was more. And so was a kilo a week about until I was forty five kilos. And then after that.

[00:08:21] It was a little bit slower because they didn’t change the meal plan before that, they were they kept adding so that you would keep gaining. But then once I hit forty five, they like, okay, let’s keep it constant and see if you still gain. And I still gained up until forty nine kilos.

[00:08:38] And then they said, let’s maintain this. And then they said don’t worry about the meal plan anymore.

[00:08:44] Eat according to your hunger levels during this whole recovery time. Did you feel a need to kind of cover up in a way like even on social media that, yeah, you don’t eat people in quite sure kind of promotes or even kind of you or even posts more kind of show your transition or.

[00:09:00] I started posting more about myself. Yeah. Only after I had hit like a healthy weight again. So once I hit a BMI of 18 is when I started. Because before then I was like, what’s the transmission here? That’s not really. So once I hit once I was at a healthy weight, I started posting transformation pictures just so just because I had already sort of opened up my story and I was like.

[00:09:24] And the other thing is that it helps me because there was a lot of support from my followers on those photos. And at my hardest time. So that’s why I don’t want to do this anymore. You know, it’d be like there’d be just one comment being like, you’re doing great. Like, keep it up. You look amazing. Like you look healthy. You look full of life. And it’s like, you know what? I’m doing the right thing. Like, I need a guy. So in a way, it was mutually beneficial. And in a way, that’s sort of what Instagram actually helped me in this. Yeah.

[00:09:51] I’m not sure there’s no female voice. You should call Eugenio. Yes.

[00:09:55] So many people commented on my photos like I don’t know what. Like what? But like, they take it and they like Eugenia needs to say this.

[00:10:02] And I always say, you know, so can you tell Eugenie? So she has about 2.5 million followers on YouTube. So what she does, she kind of is a bit like a Gothic Caucasian girl that she kind of dresses up in a cosplay dance a little bit. But her frame was quite thin and she had a lot of followers. She kept telling her. Could you please seek professional help? And probably was in the same boat that she did. She’s kind of push the men’s side.

[00:10:24] And the other thing is in her head. I can’t speak for I don’t know what she’s going through, but the publicity she gets for being thin also.

[00:10:32] Yeah. Yeah. Huge. And that might be a factor for her to want to continue sort of, I don’t know, coming to actually see young girls saying I want to look like you.

[00:10:43] Yeah, that made me feel like wow. But it got to a turning point where she actually started to seek help. I think only couple of months ago. Really?

[00:10:49] That’s good. Yeah, because I remember I haven’t checked her page, but I do remember checking her page in the past and just me like. Yeah, I mean, I can’t speak for what you’re going through, but like I would advise you if you could just.

[00:11:03] Yeah. Yeah. I just think that not a lot of people know the kind of detach mental effects of going through animate anorexia nervosa because I was looking up behind it. But it’s see high death rates of all mental illnesses, especially getting young people between 15 and 30. I think what’s crazy and that’s I don’t know the numbers were that big. I thought like, you know, pretty much everything else.

[00:11:22] But because I don’t see it very often, I guess people like I mean, people don’t really link it to death like, you know, like depression. Suicide. That’s possible. But like, they just like all they just sort of like when you’re that thin, it’s like your body is just not coping and it’s for a prolonged period of time as well.

[00:11:42] So, yeah, when this is on a different level. Yeah. Speaking in terms of work, when I because I tend to overwork myself a lot. Yeah. Because yeah. That’s a different story. But yeah I always had to ever work too much then the way I try and make sure that I don’t work too much as is when I know that I don’t have time to look after myself or when I’m. Yeah. Me was I felt I was. Yeah. Yeah. So I know that if I can’t do that then I need to stop working and just turn it down a bit. Yeah. Do you have anything like in place to make sure that you don’t relapse.

[00:12:11] Yeah. It’s I don’t have a specific thing in place. I do weigh myself relatively regularly just to make sure I haven’t lost weight.

[00:12:24] But I think it’s more about I guess it is like I don’t have a specific number, but it’s about catching that mindset. It’s like when I find myself not choosing to have does it because I’m like all nights unhealthy. As soon as I. As soon as that thought hits my head, I’m like, wait, hang on. You know, I mean, like, why where’s this coming from?

[00:12:44] Sort of thing or it’s like when I feel like crap and I’m like, no, you need to get to the gym. It’s like, wait. But why are you thinking that? And most times you can actually be linked to something like if those like I find like during periods of stress with regards to other Instagram stress like or with regards to studying stress, I get a little bit more controlling and then I’m like, oh, hey, let’s take it back. Like, let’s. Yeah. And I still see my CI quite regularly.

[00:13:12] So you’ve got the network behind you. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. On your own. When I was doing research on your story, it is so, so much my cause as well. Cause she’s also a kind of like. Type A personality. Yes. She puts all her energy back then. It’s because she’s such a perfectionist in a way that she may show that when she went to study 10 hours nose up, she could do it. Yeah.

[00:13:30] Oh, yeah, 100 percent. And then like everything is pushed to the side, like you don’t need to eat. Keep studying. Eating is not beneficial for you. Oh, wait. But it is okay. And I remember not being on the outside, but kind of in the middle inside.

[00:13:43] Yet when my family and my aunts kind of talk like eating well before we even got a young child, there’ll be like a t’pist. All my mom and all the ensemble on the family. Like make sure that you don’t mention Vanessa’s appearance. Don’t comment on her weight at all. And I’ve got two points where we always that she that she didn’t need that support as well. Yeah. And I guess being in that circle when I did notice that she did lose a lot of weight, it’s hard for me to comment. So if you do see someone like that, how do you kind of reach out to them or 100 percent?

[00:14:10] Because my friend, I remember my friend being like, yeah, go, CGP. And I was just so angry at them. I was like, what do you what do you mean? Like, who are you to say that is right? So it’s hard because you don’t you don’t want to come at them in a confronting way, I think. I wouldn’t even suggest like initially I wouldn’t even talk about seeing a healthy progression of just like, hey, you need to talk know like what’s up? Like what’s what’s going on? How are you feeling? Because I remember when I was at a twenty first and I just completely broke down in front of my two friends, like we were off to the side and they didn’t even say anything about JP. But I told them everything and they’d. What did you tell them? It just like what I was going through and I was like, it’s just so and this was before I was diagnosed, actually. So that was probably OK. Like I should like. That was probably a fact at a point where I did know I was going through a tough time.

[00:15:03] Did you see? Did you tell them that you were you weren’t eating as much food?

[00:15:06] I didn’t tell them that I wasn’t eating as much food, but I broke down and saying, like, everything’s really hard. I’m really tyred all the time. And like, I don’t act like I have, like all these cravings, but I don’t feel like but like I’m too scared to, you know, eat it and eat whatever it is. And like, it was mostly just like, I’m tyred and I can’t do a conduit. I can’t do this for the rest of my life.

[00:15:30] I remember saying that I was like, wealso response to that.

[00:15:33] They just listened and they just they honestly just listen. And they were like, so. And I think that’s sort of what I needed at the time, because if they had suggested something that I might have so retaliated and closed them off, which I did. My other friends who did. So I just. And I would update them and I would update them on messenger. And I’d be like, this is what’s happening today sort of thing.

[00:15:57] And then. At some point, they said, like, maybe you should talk to someone.

[00:16:05] And I actually took their advice because because I think I hate that I had built up that level of trust. So in the set, it’s hard. It’s a very tough battle, but it’s more like don’t confront if you if you know somebody who’s you think is going through something. Just talk to them. Ask if they ask if they’re OK. And then if you can advise to seek help. But dirt, order them, too.

[00:16:32] I think at some point like you listens once as a friend, you’ve listened enough. You can say to me, correct me if I’m wrong. I say, you know, look, I’m not qualified. I think I’m qualified to give you this advice. Yet it’s best if you speak to someone about it.

[00:16:44] Yeah. It’s more like. Oh, yeah. And it’s just like I’m worried. I’m worried about you. But there’s not much I can do.

[00:16:49] Let’s find somebody who can do something because you to work out so much back into that. June, do you think that the kind of personal trainers need to kind of alert as well? Cause when you go in there, they probably do. Yes. Yeah, they probably do think eventually that’s with amongst us, with other managers. So I was asked about this last night.

[00:17:06] I was going to bed. I was like, do gym owners and personal trainers have a duty of care?

[00:17:11] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they should.

[00:17:13] Yeah. So, I mean, I don’t know. I don’t know if any of my people at my gym did anything. But it’s like anything is like it. Be tough on them because who would they talk to like.

[00:17:25] Actually, I was I mean I have I was not I’m not really child but like I’m young and they could maybe told my parents. But like if you had like a 45 year old woman who was going through the same thing, like. They could talk to the woman themselves, but if she doesn’t only get help, then who do they talk to?

[00:17:44] I guess it’s got kind of like when I was in the medical profession. Yeah. And it’s like if we have a patient that comes in and you notice that the child is not doing very well. We need to alert. It’s it’s our duty of care. And if we don’t do anything on our medical history list, on an notes, we can actually be the ones we have trouble. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:18:00] This issue in general is becoming so common now that we actually need like, you know, like a department. Yeah. That would deal these sort of things. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:18:09] So if you were able to.

[00:18:13] I guess it seems like your sort of younger self.

[00:18:15] But would you tell her what age twelve, twelve or 50m off your face when you’re out?

[00:18:23] I would tell her that Instagram is just a hobby and that it’s has no value on what you’re going to achieve. And it shouldn’t sort of it shouldn’t be your whole life. And that again, this is so like every census. But it’s true. What it what people post on Instagram is their highlight reel. So don’t compare yourself to that.

[00:18:45] You want to see that because you are in the medical profession and knowing what you have gone through. Do you see that’s a lot more kind of body dysmorphia going on these days? Not in terms of anorexia nervosa, but, you know, Bigger Xia yet outperforms by in kind of the opposite spectrum with body lifters.

[00:19:01] Yeah, I wouldn’t I wouldn’t have anything to compare to I guess, but I do see a lot and it’s not weight loss, it’s. I want to be good but I want a six pack. Absolutely. Big arm. Yep. So yeah. I think it’s changing. Yeah. That being said though, it’s still that same like it’s still all comes back down to that disordered thinking. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:19:21] And now it’s like even looking at to statistics like ten years ago it it’s only people who suffer from anorexia, probably only about one in ten men. But now it’s only one in one in four men. So it’s guess it’s been a bit of a shift in weights. Yeah. That stigma, what only happens to women that’s actually happened to both. Yep. Yeah. Well, yeah, yeah.

[00:19:37] And again, like with males, it’s not always weight loss even though that is sometimes a thing now because like you look at the male models and sometimes they go for a more like Glenda look. Yeah. But even then it’s like just body dysmorphia and like trying to gain weight or even not caring about your appearance but just wanting to eat clean. Yeah. See what the body bodybuilders eating and the context.

[00:20:02] It takes away from like your social life because when you meal prep you can’t go out with your friends.

[00:20:05] Yeah. It’s kind of when you get why you’re worrying about what’s in the food. Thanks a lot. When eating when you go out. Yeah.

[00:20:11] What a load that is that. The message that you that you want to send in your script is serveral. Like I feel like because Instagram page like it is, it’s very much a business, right? Yeah. So as a business, why would you want your customers to feel shit about them. Yes. Germaine’s I don’t understand. I.

[00:20:29] I don’t like. I’ve always in my head. I’m whenever I post I always ask myself, is this helpful? I mean like is there a use to this post? And if it’s not, what’s the point of hosting it? But then like on Instagram, you see lots of people with lots of followers just because it’s pretty. And that’s great for them. It’s working for them. Good. Like, hi, I’m jealous.

[00:20:52] I’m not drunk in Vegas. Yeah.

[00:20:55] But but it’s small. It’s just like I wouldn’t be to do that because it’s like I don’t see you don’t helping people.

[00:21:04] That’s what it comes down to. Tensions have always been to help people. Yeah. Yeah. That’s from that from the very beginning you wanted to motivate people to to get healthy.

[00:21:12] But then I sort of realized like there’s a limit.

[00:21:15] It’s fun. Yo, yo, you know, you’re involved as a person. So does your message. So it’s a good thing. Mm hmm. As but more importantly, Yarl’s, you’ve also want to become a doctor. Yeah. So I read that has something to do with your family history. So can you tell us a bit about where that comes from?

[00:21:30] Yeah. So like I mentioned before, my grandmother had Alzheimer’s disease.

[00:21:34] And so basically, I don’t know if I mean, some of you guys might have had an experience with this, but it’s just watching your loved one basically sort of wither away and they slowly lose memory of who they are, who you are. And it’s very, very hard to watch because it takes a long time and it’s very slowly progressive. And so I just remember having to watch that as a child and not have any idea what was going on. And because nobody in my family is in the medical profession, there wasn’t really much.

[00:22:06] And this is in Malaysia as well. And as I’m sure some people know, not the best. I like doctors don’t really sit down and have a chat with the family and tell them everything that’s going on.

[00:22:16] It’s just fine if you’re sick, like you can just go to the pharmacy and you can get antibiotics for yourself, to be honest. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:22:20] So we all like what’s happening? Like, what is this? What’s that like? How long was this? Wait, what are you going through?

[00:22:28] And so I just remember being like, this is not like I don’t want to feel like that. I would feel helpless. So that’s sort of where I started to want to become a doctor. Yeah. And since then, like I’ve been set on it like. Yeah.

[00:22:42] So those comes from since young age.

[00:22:45] Yeah. Yeah. Like I say young like maybe like high school age. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:22:50] Like looking at you now you’re only 21 and then out of life expense that you’ve had. So until you’re gonna be a doctor it’s incredible. And it’s so inspiring to people who you follow you. And I guess the numbers on your Instagram is a testament to that I guess. Thank you. And but definitely a lot of people who do follow would like myself and feel even that we are a bit of our own. But the little old.

[00:23:13] Know, we don’t really have demographic. What generation are you? I’m a millennial. I got a. Yes, we did the same.

[00:23:22] I guess we’re just a little bit older. But even we what she we watch younger people, we get so inspired because the store is so authentic, it happens to all of us. And pretty much you’re like you’re like a neighbour because well, from Melbourne as well.

[00:23:34] And she’s also like your boss, by the way. Ask your boss if you’d like. Done. He had released you a book. Yeah, I even had an app as well. So what else do you want to achieve? Well, what I want to achieve. Like, what else can you say? Well, I get to supplement store as well. Right. Yeah.

[00:23:50] I’ve I’ve I mean I’ve had a lot of businesses as I’ve grown up just because that’s the way I’ve had to fund myself through a lot of things. But from here on out, it’s really just I just want to be a doctor. And then I like honestly, if you’ll ask me this, like, why are you just drop out under Instagram full time? And I’m like, because I cannot wait for the day that I graduate. And I just throw my phone away and I spend all my time in hospital with patients. I know how many years of you from graduating, finishing. So. So this is my third year. I got two more years.

[00:24:22] Yes. So as you’re nearing graduation, you like trying to turn down the Instagram jobs down a bit more?

[00:24:29] Well, I’m not I’m not really turning them down, I guess, because, like, it’s still it’s fun. And I’m very lucky. It’s it it has provided me with a lot of opportunities. But at the same time, like I said, it does take a toll on your mental health and for it, because it’s turned from a hobby to a job. So it’s like a business. But once I start, once I’m a doctor, then it’s like I have an additional source of income that I don’t have to rely on. So I’m not winding it down, but I’m not winding it up.

[00:24:58] Yeah, I guess in a way it could be like turning to like, you know, that really famous doctor who’s now has his own channel in America.

[00:25:04] Dr. Phil is a doctor. I’ll talk to Dr. Oz. I could be like a kind of a gateway, a pathway for you. Oh, yeah. I think she was a practitioner practice. So do you want to.

[00:25:15] I honestly wouldn’t say I wouldn’t mind.

[00:25:17] Would you want to do research?

[00:25:21] I like to be with patients.

[00:25:22] Yeah. Like people. And like whether that’s publicly on TV or in a room, that’s fine.

[00:25:29] So anybody who’s listening on hit Sarah when she’s qualified. Yeah. It’s only brands now on Instagram that you would never, ever work with.

[00:25:36] Weiss training stuff like that.

[00:25:38] Skinny fat man is skinny tease. Yeah.

[00:25:41] Yeah. I don’t mind t like you’re not skinny like that.

[00:25:44] T is not gonna make you lose weight. But like I like t. So if you want to send me T that tastes good and makes you more awake. Well that’s true, right. But yeah but I’m not I’m never going to say that this table help you lose weight. Yeah. Because that’s nothing to do with the T. Yeah.

[00:26:02] Has it been any brands that mentioned the name. You’ve quit working with the message shop looking back now.

[00:26:09] Like see the thing is it’s hard for me. It’s it’s very, very hot. I’m like walking on a..

[00:26:17] I’m walking on tightrope because I still am into health and fitness.

[00:26:22] Right. And so there are brands out there that I do because of what they do, promote weight loss, because there are people out there that do need to lose weight to be healthy. So it’s like it’s like I still work with those brands sometimes, but I don’t promote their weight loss products. Like take for example, and this is just take a supplement brand that sells protein powder. Protein powder is good like it’s good, but they might also have a fat burner that they sell because people do use happiness. But I’m just not going to promote that domain, but I’m not going to distance myself from the company because they had that part of it. It’s more like if they are sad, if they suddenly just change all their products to fat burning things or like. And when I say Fat Ben is I mean, like just stuff with caffeine in it. I don’t mean like the stuff that people think magically helps them. Like it’s like it’s not. It’s not a magical pill or anything. So like I said, I’m walking a tightrope. I just I don’t fault a company for their products, but I am very specific with what I say and post on my page. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:27:31] Before we head off, would you have some exec questions for you as well? That was awesome. I guess I’m answer the first one is what is one that you don’t know yet? What is one thing that you have to do every day no matter how busy you are?

[00:27:43] Ok. OK. This is good because it ties in with that story. So I don’t know if you guys know, but every day I have to have ice cream.

[00:27:48] Oh, yes, all day. Every day.

[00:27:51] It’s just like it’s it’s one. It helps me sort of get over that. Ice cream is a bad food. You can’t have you. I just have like I make myself have it every day. And the other thing is, like, it’s nice. I love us. What’s your favourite ice cream? OK. So it used to be kind of super cool using cream. But I tried.

[00:28:08] He told me to get you cookies and cream down. The other part is.

[00:28:12] But I recently tried Sarah Liz Dash Delage.

[00:28:16] Oh, yeah. There’s a guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That we always eat the top like Hezbollah.

[00:28:26] Like I have half a bowl of halo top and half a bowl like actually. But Halo Top is so good like his. It’s like you don’t even know that it’s like like healthy. Not sponsored.

[00:28:35] Not like. I love it.

[00:28:38] Yeah. I guess it’s a lot of these brands coming up. They want to make low calorie foods. And it’s getting a lot of these kind of nuk looking myself like I love you. What’s up? Just because I see the number three hundred twenty dollars, I can eat this without feeling shit about my.

[00:28:50] Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And also like sometimes like you just eat more of it and is.

[00:28:56] Yeah. Yeah. How do you switch off everything. I see.

[00:28:59] Jeff Flake, Candy Crush. I’m on high level. Three thousand dollar jar. My everything else is. Do you want to check like other holidays. My screen time is like twelve hours all in Congress.

[00:29:13] So you at night time you just make Candy Crush. Oh yeah. You get like half an hour before bed. It’s like. Is there something you’re working on that we can look forward to?

[00:29:23] Oh, what am I working on?

[00:29:24] So I don’t have any of my own projects that I’m working on. It’s more just again, focussing on my page and making sure that I’m spreading the right message. So you can always have a look at my page, see where things are going on. But otherwise, it’s just my career. That’s what I’m working on. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:29:44] All right. The loss of final question, which I know you don’t know yet. Yeah. So is there a person who is no longer here with us? Maybe not today. Do you wish you could follow the social media? Dead or alive? But that doesn’t have a social media page yet.

[00:30:01] You go for someone in like history and say something like Anne Frank.

[00:30:06] Well, maybe. Is this all right? That was known, I think.

[00:30:10] Melvin is the king at the king of vaudeville. Like he’s the one who Champy champion the term ascetics. And then he died from like steroid use, a heart attack.

[00:30:20] So what do you think his Instagram page would have been like?

[00:30:22] I would be massive. But at the same time, it’s like because he wasn’t natural. But what I’d like to quote him, that is like the fact that he had to use so much that he eventually passed away from it.

[00:30:33] Like what was going through his head to the go ahead.

[00:30:36] He was in Thailand. I don’t know where he was, but yeah, I mean, like, obviously, he had some stuff going on and it would be nice to, like, talk about that and explore that.

[00:30:43] Yeah, I remember back you loving yourself. He was he was huge nationally, so.

[00:30:47] He’s the one that, like champion the whole ascetics. Like small waist. No big chest sort of. Yeah.

[00:30:53] Not a lot of people that steroids use. There is so many kind of long term detrimental effects on your body. Yeah. And I guess it does. It can lead to death.

[00:31:00] So I guess I don’t know if that was the cause of his death or he was like predisposed, but I know that it probably didn’t help with it like it well.

[00:31:08] So how do we find you and your socials? Yeah. So Instagram is the best way to reach me. It is just like it at. And then Sarah Raabe raising you. So inspiring. So inspiring.

[00:31:21] I didn’t tell you. It’s not. You know, I always talk about celebrity like. I like doughnuts as well. Yeah. Favourite food ever have. How many last week come in like three or four. Not sponsored by my. I get my mom to go to Iceland every week. As a side, not somebody like asense. Not close. I’m telling you. But I still get that. I’ll give you the 50 bucks out of it. Thank you for joining us, Sarah said. Lovely having me here.

[00:31:50] Hey, you got to catch up and in the game. Yeah. All right. See you later. Hope you guys enjoyed that interview with Sarah. If you want to see what’s coming up next. Follow us on Instagram at LEMON podcasts or join our Facebook community with other hundreds of LEMON is online as well. Please leave us a five star review on i-Tunes and follow us on whatever podcast from your using. We’ll see you back on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Have a great weekend. Bye bye.

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